I am a medical provider with 23 years of clinical experience. I still could not get through the systems for myself. This is for the ones who take care of everyone else and to all the helpers pushing past empty. It is the story of my autoimmune journey, sixteen months of fighting a system I know from the inside, four rheumatologists, no diagnosis, a refusal to refer me to a specialty clinic, and zero prescriptions. It is also the story of what has been saving me. My own deep trauma work, a year of psychedelic and somatic training, a heating blanket, four elderly animals, Eye of the Tiger to start the day, and the slow steady work of healing from the inside out. The work I am building with Healing the Helpers and knowing I will get to use all of this to help my people, the helpers, has been life giving. I wrote it for my mom Susan, who never got her diagnosis. I wrote it for every woman who has left a doctor's appointment feeling invisible. I wrote it for every burned out helper out there who is still showing up anyway. You are not alone. You are not crazy. Keep reading.