I am honored to help you uncover your trauma, get closer to your authentic self and move toward your dreams.
Hi, I’m Mara Adelman
For over two decades, I have worked as a Physician Assistant at a large family practice clinic. While I still find great satisfaction in my work, I have observed that in today's chaotic and disconnected world, it is increasingly difficult to help patients make the changes needed to achieve optimal health and wellness. Over the years, my patients have trusted me with their most intimate life moments, and many have confided that they struggle with truly connecting with others, particularly in dating and relationships.
It became apparent to me that unless I helped people focus on and improve their mental health and interpersonal relationships, I would just be treating the symptoms of illness and not truly helping people be balanced, connected, and well. This led me to enroll in a Sexuality Coaching Program.
My journey to becoming a coach and helping others improve their relationships is rooted in both personal and professional experience. We all know that the road to success can be paved with challenges and the path to navigating connections is no exception. My extensive dating history and dedicated efforts to truly connect with others have provided me with valuable expertise.
Over the past three decades, I have immersed myself in learning the nuances of dating and relationships, including countless online dating experiences and first dates while searching for the right connection. These experiences allowed me to streamline my own dating process. Having done my own work on the "Essential 5 Elements" and attachment wounds, I am now prepared to guide you on your own journey
More recently after navigating my own traumatic life events, I embarked on a deeper healing journey with profound results. This experience inspired me to thoroughly study trauma work, leading me to enroll in a year-long intensive Psychedelic Program while also obtaining a certificate in the Biology of Trauma and Attachment.
As a Physician Assistant, Coach, and Psychedelic Practitioner, I combine my medical knowledge and coaching passion with the profound insights I’ve gained from this powerful medicine work. I look forward to guiding you on your healing path.
Trauma
Gabor Maté, renowned trauma specialist, explains that trauma is not the event itself, but what happens inside you as a result of that event, often manifesting as a disconnect from oneself.
“Whether we realize it or not, it is our woundedness, or how we cope with it, that dictates much of our behavior, shapes our social habits, and informs our ways of thinking about the world.”
"Healing from trauma should begin with compassionate curiosity towards oneself, focusing on understanding why certain feelings and behaviors developed rather than simply asking 'why' they exist.
~Gabor Mate’
“As we take care of our body, we need to take care of our mind and soul.”
My Healing Journey
Like many people, I experienced childhood trauma. I spent my early twenties working on an ambulance and in an emergency room, where I prided myself on my ability to compartmentalize. The last two decades working as a primary care provider has been rewarding yet emotionally taxing work and in retrospect added to my secondary trauma. Again, I became adept at “leaving the work at the office” and blocking out the emotional difficulties inherent in the job.
At one point in my career, I was part of a Disaster Medical Response Team and the Emergency Preparedness Manager at my clinic. Although nothing traumatic happened to me personally, the secondary trauma from my disaster team being stationed in the Superdome during Hurricane Katrina, as well as the experiences of many of my clinic co-workers and patients who were affected by disasters over the years, stayed with me. Through it all, I still didn't think the past traumas were affecting my life. That was, until multiple added stressors made it clear that the cumulative trauma and stress were, in fact, taking a toll.
My 2020 was incredibly challenging, much like for everyone else. I was navigating the pandemic as a medical provider while also caring for a very sick dog, and the stress continued to mount. The following year, as my parents' health declined, I sold my home and relocated to be closer to them. I also transitioned to being a telemedicine provider; while working from home was great, it took me away from my clinic and my lovely work family.
In the years that followed, our area faced multiple fires, and evacuating my parents became a frequent necessity. Then came the social work that precedes transitioning, which is both a magical and extremely stressful time. My parents passed away at home within a year and a half of each other. In the midst of all of that my twin was diagnosed with breast cancer and the social working continued.
Somewhere in the chaos, I forgot how to feel anything but numb. I unconsciously shut out the more challenging emotions by leaning on my old friend, compartmentalization and in so doing I also dulled my ability to feel joy. When the chronic stress finally ended, my body did not understand that it was safe to relax. My nervous system was shot and I would explain to people that I felt “three tanks below empty”. My usual coping strategies of numbing out with a glass of wine or mindless tv, were doing absolutely nothing to replenish me.
As Bessel van der Kolk explains in his book "The Body Keeps the Score, "trauma isn't just a mental event; it becomes an event that is stored in the body shaping our physical and emotional state long after the experience has passed. This proved true for me. I began to feel physically unwell. It took several years, an autoimmune diagnosis that forced me to slow down, and many different healing modalities before I began to feel “almost human again”. I am unsure if my mind, body and soul would have healed without mind-manifesting medications, psychotherapy, EMDR, nature therapy, parts work, and somatic practices. Through these modalities I have learned many new coping skills that are truly healthy and genuinely helpful. I can’t wait to share them with you.
Thanks to the somatic work, I finally became embodied. That means I can feel present and at home in my body. I can experience my physical and emotional sensations more clearly, rather than just thinking about them. Let me tell you it feels good to get out of your head for awhile, let me teach you how.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned both personally and professionally, is that it is important to work through your trauma in order to connect and anchor your mind, body, and spirit. This takes stripping away the parts of yourself shaped by trauma that no longer serve you, and learning to befriend all of your parts and emotions, even the more challenging ones. The more you release old trauma mindsets, the more your gut and intuition come on line to help you make grounded, life affirming decisions. This shift also makes it possible to live from a place of abundance rather then scarcity.
When you strip away the parts of you that have been shaped by trauma your true spirit comes forward! I have found my authentic self and rediscovered my wings. There is nothing simple about diving into your own trauma work, but the results are absolutely worth it! I have walked this path myself, and after experiencing such profound personal transformation, I am here to guide you to rediscovering your wings and dreams!
Stay connected,
